I want to believe.

Reaching up and out, all the way to the stars. Grasping, gasping, seeking...wondering what's out there. All the way beyond, there's more. I've felt very, very close to the ground lately. Depression has a way of fogging up the windows, shrinking the house. Before long, you don't even realize that you can't tell which way is up. But all the same...I've always been able to tell which way is up. The clouds, the sky, the stars, beyond, calling. There is more, far beyond that which we can see.

There's something about the concept of deep magic in the world, the unseen rules of reality that keep the fabric of things together. While it's important to stay rooted in reality, I think there's something deeply valuable to keeping your eyes and ears open to that which can't be easily explained. A phrase I've thought about a lot the past few months is the classic, "I want to believe," quote that I think originates with the X Files. I don't actually know for sure because I've never watched it. I'm compelled by the idea of wanting to believe in something you don't actually think is real. I think that's how I feel about exploration and the unknown. I want to believe there are new, habitable worlds out there, potentially with alien life. I want to believe there are hidden creatures that live among us, good or bad, in the shadows and in the light. Do I? Not really. But I want to.

I've always been drawn to things that give me a sense that there's more to explore, something to reach for out there. I find it's harder to chase this as an adult, due to the many priorities that come first. Maybe that's just an excuse, I'm not sure. Either way, I'm thinking it's good to keep in mind that we're not in control of much anyways and life is a nice adventure we get to experience, so we might as well try and keep it interesting.

I've been sick this entire week and I'm starting to get stir crazy, send help and taco bell.

Thanks for reading, and happy Friday.