waiting

On Monday of this week, I started a Walstad planted tank. I’d planned to do this about a year ago, but life got busy and I decided I wasn’t really in the place for it. The idea is simple: 1-2 inches of dirt, capped with half as much sand, but not too fine of a sand that air and plant roots can’t get through. Gently fill the tank with water so as to not create a giant cloud of sand and dirt, plant a bunch of easy level water plants in said sand, and…wait. All you can really do now is have a good light routine. Diana Walstad herself recommends some version of 5 hours on, 4 hours off, 5 hours on, bedtime.

Waiting is difficult. I’ve been on an intentional journey of learning to wait for the past 2ish years now, as a natural progression of my healing journey that kicked off sometime in 2020. It’s not as hard as it used to be, but I still have to choose to take a deep breath, pause, and stay still. There’s a lot to be learned in waiting. You discover life goes on, most of your problems weren’t quite as pressing as you thought, and there’s rest to be had you didn’t know you were missing. But I really, really want my plants to start flourishing. It’s been two days and I’m already impatient.

I like the word betweenspace; spellcheck is assuring me it’s not a word, but I named one of my upcoming ambient tracks that, so…pretty sure it is. Waiting in the betweenspace. Riding the waves, watching the particles float by. There’s some stuff in and around this concept that I need to spend some time practicing putting into words, as it’s closely related to why I enjoy ambient music so much. I’ve had an idea to write about that for months now, just haven’t done it. Soon? Soon.

I haven’t written much since 2023, but I’d like to get back into some kind of rhythm again. Cheers to 2025 and waiting, drifting in the stillness.

currently listening to: https://idra.bandcamp.com/album/resonant-bodies-anticipated-memories